NEW YEAR! NEW YOU! Ready to experience freedom?


Ready to experience FREEDOM from the hold that
grief, pain, unrealized hopes, dreams, and expectations have on your life?

LIVING AFTER LOSS: A Journey to Freedom!
This 8-week grief recovery group program starts January 18th, 2018

People say you have to let go and move on,

but how EXACTLY do you do that

GRIEF IS THE NORMAL AND NATURAL REACTION TO ANY SUBSTANTIAL LOSS
There are over 40 life experiences that can produce feelings of loss including:

DEATH      DIVORCE      MISCARRIAGE       DIVORCE       MISCARRIAGE

       MOVING       GRADUATION      RETIREMENT      EMPTY NEST

ESTRANGEMENT     PERSONAL INJURY OF ILLNESS       JOB LOSS       

      CHANGE IN FINANCES      DEATH OF PET    MARITAL SEPARATION

Loss is cumulative over a lifetime, and so is unresolved grief.

Loss is cumulative over a lifetime, and so is unresolved grief.

MYTHS/MISPERCEPTIONS ABOUT GRIEF
•    It just takes time. 
•    Replace the loss. 
•    Grieve alone. 
•    Be strong.
•    Don’t feel bad. 
•    Keep busy. 
•    There are five stages.

                  Grief has no set stages and no timeline.

                  Grief has no set stages and no timeline.

SIGNS OF GRIEF
•    Overwhelming sadness
•    Isolation
•    Sense of numbness
•    Roller coaster of emotions
•    Poor concentration
•    Change in sleeping habits
•    Poor nutrition
•    Illness/Accidents
•    Trouble making decisions
•    Anger
•    Loss of faith

Every person is unique, and every relationship is unique. Therefore, everyone responds differently to loss. The symptoms listed above are common but do not always appear. They are normal reactions, but leaving grief unresolved can cause them to last and to multiply. 

You need the right tools

Grief is an emotional response to loss, yet most of the tools we’ve acquired for dealing with it are either intellectual or spiritual. They don’t get to the heart of the matter.

You can't paint a room with a screwdriver!

You can't paint a room with a screwdriver!

Some examples of how we deal with unresolved grief:
•    Substance abuse
•    Gambling
•    Workaholism
•    “Retail Therapy”
•    Eating too much/too little
•    Physical and/or emotional isolation
•    Depression

The key to recovery from grief is action, not time

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WHAT DOES GRIEF RECOVERY LOOK LIKE?
♥Feeling better
♥Finding happiness again
♥Recapturing a joy for living
♥Being able to enjoy fond memories without them turning painful
♥Fully engaging in relationships again
♥Feelings of freedom and safety


WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO BEGIN GRIEF RECOVERY?
NOW! Check the video out below to hear what it's all about.

REGISTER NOW!
Living After Loss: A Journey to Freedom, Group Program (8 sessions) led by award-winning author, speaker and certified grief recovery specialist, Anne-Marie Lockmyer
DATES: January 18 - March 8th, 2018
TIME: Thursdays 7-9pm
LOCATION: 505 S. Villa Real Drive, Suite 100 Anaheim, CA 92807

(Space is limited)

The fee due for group registration is $325. (includes book and all materials) Credit cards are accepted
EARLY REGISTRATION DISCOUNT is $275 by 1/10/2018

Anne-Marie offers a 7-week private Living After Loss: A Journey to Freedom program for those who prefer to work one on one.  $850 The private program can be scheduled at any time.

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To register or to learn more about these programs go to     https://www.comfortforthehurting.com/services
Contact Anne-Marie at: 
hello@comfortforthehurting.com
714-931-6540

Do you know someone who could benefit from these programs? Please share it.

I would love to hear from you. Pain is Real So is Hope!

 

End of Year Greetings from Comfort for the Hurting

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A small token of my gratitude,

Please enjoy three complimentary sections of my book,
"When Their World Stops":

1.    How to have a "Memory Night" to remember the loved one lost
2.    My tips for helping someone grieving during Christmas time
3.    What to write in a sympathy card

Click here to download three complimentary sections of my eBook

As we celebrate the miracle of Christmas and the coming new year,my heart is full of gratitude for all that has happened in 2017.  When Mark died suddenly, four years ago, the world as I knew it ended, as did my dreams and hopes for the future.  I could never imagine at that time, that God could use my pain and experience to help others who are hurting.

Now, here we are, December 2017, and look at what has happened:
The book has won 7 awards this year!  As a first time author, I did not in my wildest dreams anticipate this encouraging response. How grateful I am!

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Countless people have shared their story with me, often in tears.
I have received heartfelt notes and letters of appreciation, for the book or a presentation of mine, that equipped them to approach the grieving with a new confidence, and for those in grief, how it helped them realize they are not crazy and what they are experiencing is normal.

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I have the honor of working with groups and individuals providing tools and a safe place for them to recover from all kinds of losses and heal their broken hearts by going through the Grief Recovery Method.  I have become the "Go to Girl for Grief".  

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So I would like to take this moment to thank all of you - friends, family and supporters who have encouraged me since the moment my world stopped four years ago or who have more recently come into my life.
YOU are who I am most grateful for.  Despite busyness, challenges, and problems, you took the time to give me the hope I needed when I needed it – by encouraging me to write, or reading the book or sharing your stories with me.  YOU inspire me! 

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Here is to a Happy New Year, with many people getting free from the pain of grief and loss, to experience wholeness and joy in their lives once again! 

The next Grief Recovery Method Support Group begins January 18th.
To learn more Click Here.

Pain is Real So is Hope!

How to send a Christmas card to someone who is grieving

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Usually, we enjoy receiving the family pictures, yearly update letters and cards at Christmas time.

But, if one has experienced a recent loss or this is their first Christmas without their loved one, these things that normally bring joy can cause accidental pain.  

A regular Christmas card with a generic saying and signature or a happy family picture can give the grieving one the impression that people do not remember what a tough time this is for them. They can feel forgotten at a time that is already difficult. It is another example of how everyone else's life has returned to normal while their life is still a mess. When I received all the happy family pictures my first Christmas after Mark's death, all I could think of was that I did not have a "happy family" anymore. They broke my heart. Of course, it was unintentional. 

Not every person will react as I did.  I have heard that some say it made them happy to see others happy, but when I polled all the people I knew that had experienced loss, they said it was hard for them, and it hurt. 

So, please, think about what you want to send them.  Instead of this being awkward, this is a great opportunity to make them feel special. You have a few options:

1.  Send a regular Christmas card and write a special note to them.  If you don't like the quote on the card, cross it out and add or change words to fit them. If you want to make it extra special, put a little gift card in there for a Starbucks drink or something - movie tickets, pedicure, special event - anything that might lift their spirits and make them feel cared for.  It doesn't have to be much.  It really is the thought. 

2.  Create your own card. You can create a card from scratch with a personal message just for them. My favorite service to send personalized cards is SendOutCards
You can use one of their ready-made designs and add a personal message or add a picture to a card or design it from scratch.  They print it and send it. What I love about SendOutCards, is that they also give you an option to add a gift - brownies, cookies, jewelry, stuffed animals, gift cards and lots more!!  It is a lovely treat to receive a personalized card with a little gift - and they do it all for you at a reasonable price.  The brownies and Mrs. Fields cookies assortment are especially yummy!

Here are some examples of what you could write on the card:
(I am using my husband's name for our examples)

"We know this holiday makes the loss of Mark even more apparent.  We love you and miss him too!"  
 
"We know you and Joseph are missing Mark and the holidays will be tough.  We haven't forgotten how great a loss you have suffered.  We love you!"

"At a time when everyone seems to be celebrating, you must be hurting as you are missing your precious Mark.  We have not forgotten."

"Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as we know you are missing Mark this Christmas."


"It doesn't seem right to send you a card wishing you a Merry Christmas when we know how you are hurting, but we wanted you to know that we have not forgotten and we care."

"We know this may not feel like a time of celebration for you, but we celebrate you, your family and Mark during this season and are grateful for your friendship."

"Thinking of you as we know these holidays will be tough."

"During this season that reminds us of family, we know your family is incomplete this Christmas. We have not forgotten. "


Christmas is a time to remember your loved ones, and that is why we remember you.  You are so dear to us. And so was Mark.  We miss him, and we know you do too."

"As we celebrate those who are precious to us during this season.  We celebrate you, Joseph and Mark. We know the holidays may be tough and he will be deeply missed."

 

I would love to hear from you. Please respond with your ideas for the grieving during the holidays.

"PAIN IS REAL. SO IS HOPE."

AN EXCERPT FROM ANNE-MARIE LOCKMYER’S BOOK, WHEN THEIR WORLD STOPS

When I joined a grief group, the first thing I learned was not to expect much from my friends so that I wouldn’t be disappointed. And it was true. It’s not that friends don’t care or don’t want to help. They just have no idea what to do or say. I was one of those friends myself. We are able to support our friends through many hard times, but when it comes to the death of a loved one it’s like we get tongue-tied and paralyzed. We are fearful, desperately wanting to help but feeling inadequate to do so. Grief makes us uncomfortable, and we are at a loss as to what to do. Often we blurt out something we shouldn’t. Or, sometimes, we simply do nothing.

I hope that what I’ve learned through my grief experience will help you be the friend you want to be to the grieving person in your life—the one you’re trying to help right now. When we’re not there for those who are grieving, it’s not because we don’t care; we do. We just aren’t sure how to respond. And we’re scared. But we can do it. YOU can do it! And with a little knowledge and willingness, you will. Because you already have the most important quality you need to be helpful …YOU CARE!

FEATHERED QUILL BOOK REVIEW

When Their World Stops: The Essential Guide to TRULY Helping Anyone in Grief

As anyone reading this review will know, there are a plethora of books on the market (most written by PhD’s, M.D.’s and any other ‘D’ you can think of) in regards to grief, how to deal with the loss of life, and how best to cope in order to move on to the next stage. This book, however, will actually “speak” to you – all of you out there who has either lost a loved one, or had to find a way to help/aid/support/comfort a friend who was going through the grieving process. I say this will speak to you, because even though the degrees on the wall may state that the person holding said degrees is the “voice” that learned a specific area of medicine, it is not a degree that is at the core of a subject such as grief. Much like people believe you can better help an addict if you’ve gone through the same nightmare, the same can be said for a broken home or a broken heart.

Right from the onset, this author tells of one of the worst experiences a person could go through; the loss of a spouse. This is a woman who was in love with her mate and was just approaching their twenty-sixth wedding anniversary when her beloved passed away. This is a woman who raised her children with the love of her life; they created a world that was suddenly broken. She speaks of how she came to realize, once going through this horrible pain and feeling the whirlwind of emotions, that some of her very closest friends really had no idea how to deal with her grief. Even when they thought they were being helpful, they actually were saying some very wrong things and making her feel even worse. No. They weren’t trying to do this, and because of this she saw that when the shoe had been on the other foot, she had not been the best when it came to giving support/aid to her friends.

Bottom line: No one knows exactly how to respond to grief. Your friends look away and you can actually feel the tension in the room because there truly is no sure way to comfort someone who has just dealt with a loss of this magnitude. The author took it upon herself to let others know what she learned about grief, and offers a “door” to those who are hurt and those who are trying desperately to find the right way to comfort them during this time.

Is bringing a gift to the home right? How do you keep a schedule for the children; how do you best help them cope while your own heart is breaking? Sincerity and dependability are necessary, but when should you talk about the person who has passed? Is telling your friend they’re strong a good thing? When should you send a sympathy card, and what should it read? And, one of the biggest issues in many lives, how to help when Christmas comes to pass. The holiday is full of memories and the depression rates/numbers grow higher during the season.

This is not a tome with large, medical words or doctor ‘speak.’ This is a golden-nugget of a book, if you will, written with heart and, unfortunately, written from experience. These are helpful words and directions that will not solve the issues of grief, but allow you to better understand how to deal with grief and help a friend get through a horrible time.

Quill says: It is a fact that everyone grieves differently, but this author should be commended for tapping into her own traumatic experience to bring others a bit of peace.

Read the Book Interview Between the Feathered Quill and Ann-Marie Lockmyer Here

By: Anne-Marie Lockmyer

Publisher: Joseph Allen Press
Publication Date: March 2016
ISBN: 978-0-9968024-0-6
Reviewed by: Amy Lignor
Review Date: December 10, 2016

ANNE-MARIE LOCKMYER’S NEW BOOK, WHEN THEIR WORLD STOPS, IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE

No more fear, walking on eggshells, or having no idea what to do!

Something about grief scares us. It is uncomfortable, and we feel inadequate to help our grieving friends. We don’t like to see them hurting and often don’t have a clue what to do — so we nothing — or the wrong thing.

When Their World Stops will equip you to:

  • Understand what they are experiencing and feeling
  • Say the right things and avoid saying the wrong things
  • Be supportive with appropriate actions and gifts
  • Encourage them during the holidays
  • Write a lovely message in a sympathy card
  • And so much more…

When Their World Stops includes many useful lists as well as a special reminder page to guide you on how to help them the first year.

About the Author

Anne-Marie Lockmyer lives in California, where she is rebuilding her life after the sudden death of her beloved husband. She hopes her pain and experience will help others.